My lifestyle is not a secret from those closest to me. These select few find my stories interesting, exciting, and appreciate my bravery. However, it is met with much apprehension at the same time.
“Why? Why do you want to do this?”
The answer should be easy. I want money. I like the attention. I want to travel. I find older men attractive. ANY of those answers would do but to be honest, it is not anywhere near the real answer. I have a good job that I truly adore with great benefits and stable income. I get enough attention in my daily life with my guy friends mocking my “facebook fanclub”. I travel well enough on my own, at least once a year. Having internet friends gives you lots of opportunities to travel all over, making me pretty well traveled for my age. Truthfully, I have never been with a significantly older man besides the 28 year old I lost my virginity to at the age of 18. Love you, buddy! So why am I doing it?
Easy. To learn. One thing I have realized over the last 6 months is that who you are is not static. People are ever changing, based on not only their surroundings but their experiences. Having escaped my first abusive relationship with a lot more held together than my ex’s previous victims, I feel I have the ability to grow exponentially. I have seen the worst, or so I think. Maybe I am secretly seeking out an even darker side to men so I feel less victimized by that sad excuse for a human being that I laid next to night after night for such a short but seemingly long time. Or on the flip side, maybe I am seeking out that not ALL men are bad and that putting yourself out of your comfort zone could grant you endless happiness. Who knows, really?
One thing I do know is that I am well aware of who I am, who I want to be, and where I am going in life. This is a side gig that I am trying out and if it works, maybe I’ll keep trying it out. I will continue to date outside of Sugar and stop everything when I find the right person to stop for. Does this set horrible standards if I get used to a certain comfortable way of life? Probably. But I am trying to play it smart. Every penny of my sugaring is going in to my savings account to pay off my future schooling, my debt, and even my rent. I can handle all of these without Sugar but it is a hell of a lot harder and lets be honest….who doesn’t want an easy way out after they feel they have been dragged through hell for most of their life?
No artificial sweeteners for this Baby.