Send out the search party.

So, I am going through quite a mess. I have been spending a lot of time with B and it has pretty much killed my sugar game. I know full well I do NOT want a relationship but my time with B is just so enjoyable, its hard not to want to drown myself in it. The sex is great, we are super comfortable, and we both have an understanding of where the other is in life. If he could challenge me intellectually, I would be all over this boy demanding a relationship but honestly, I feel like I have the intellectual upper hand. Looking back, I normally have had the upper hand in my relationships, but since I started sugaring I have gone absolutely crazy with the idea of someone teaching ME something and not vice versa. Not to say I could not learn from B, he has had some serious shit go down, but could I learn from him in a way that would benefit me in the future career wise or personal growth wise? Probably not. DAT BODY DOE.

I have started talking to China again as June is nearing and I figured I put up with it this long, just the final home stretch before he flies down for the date. He is still a very dry sort of guy but that could just be how it goes when communicating via email.

I had a date planned with Karate Kid this passed thursday but after staying up the previous night until almost 1am talking and sexing with B, I was in no mental state to put up with anyone. I made up a plausible work excuse and ended up being sick yesterday so that actually REALLY cancelled that one out. Sucks. I am going to really revamp my sugar game this weekend and stop being distracted by B as it is not going to go anywhere, I won’t allow it to.

There are two others in the mix, that new york guy and some guy I can’t even remember his name I just know his texts are hilarious. Where is he from again? Hmmmm….

I still have not heard from my SD and I am getting rather impatient, almost a little scared he changed his mind. The last time we spoke was a chain of 50 or so emails in an hour time span, talking about how excited he was to get back in to town and then suddenly nothing? Not a good sign my dears, not a good sign.

I am off to a food truck festival today to get rid of all the work I constantly put in at the gym! No regrets! PULLED PORK AND CUPCAKES WILL BE HAD!

Smells a little like cat poop.

Hahahaha, that was awful/awesome. The illusion of the perfect SB is so funny to me, it blows my mind. I was just skyping with the POT from NYC and my cat decides to poop OUTSIDE of the litter box 3 feet to my right. How does one interrupt a first skype call to announce ” My cat just pooped and is now dragging my sandals into it to attempt to cover it up…can you hold for a minute?” hahahaha 😦

So I spent the next 25 minutes enveloped in the smell of cat poop. While trying to be cute and interesting.

He very much pushed for me going to NYC tomorrow but I have a cook out with a friend who recently got dumped and really needs a pick me up. This is what makes me unsuccessful in sugar, I think. I value my outside of sugar life very highly. Not to say all SBs don’t but I feel like some of them have expendable plans or more free time. I’m not sure, I might be over thinking it. I also kind of want to push it out about ~10 more days when he comes back from Portland so I have the chance to whip my body into a little better shape, I am not feeling nearly as lean as I would like.

If this POT stacks up, his nickname might not be a nice one as he had snot dripping out of his nose most of the video call BUT. HE DID JUST EAT A REALLY SPICEY SAMMICH. Hahahaha he was so nerdy and cute I can’t think badly of him but a boogery nickname would make it more fun. He is so hipster it burns, down to the thick rimmed round glasses. Oh boy.

Karate Kid has been emailing me all day, setting up thursday as a day to meet again. I think he wants me to host but I cannot, especially with my roomies recent plunge into googling my friends who come over. Didn’t mention that, did I? Yeah. Batshit. Either way, if all works out, maybe this could be my arrangement to cover a small apartment so I don’t have to worry about rent while I am in school? I am probably planning to for ahead but that is my goal with him I think.

Still no word from my SD who was PLANNING to come in last week or this week. I am getting a bit peeved about that and am unsure if I should express my disdain for his shitty scheduling or not. Probably not. Oh well, I’m sure once I see him I’ll forget all the negative thoughts I have πŸ™‚ Easily one of the coolest people I have connected with via SA.

Why am I ready for bed at 10pm on a saturday of my three day weekend? Hell if I know but time to curl up with my PS4 and some netflix. Cheers!

Quickie

I somehow got a diamond SD on SA to find me interesting enough to bring me to NYC on Monday.

I’m so nervous I could barf! He’s young, cute, and loves fit girls…….

I’m really regretting those Oreos I ate yesterday. Time to go carb free all weekend! Ughhhhh no drinking for me 😦

Splenda Pirate also hit me up on Skype. I knew damn well who he was but threw the “who’s this?” at him just to show how unimportant he is.

Too uptight?

So, I’ve been in contact with this fairly attractive attorney SD. His profile is all about “having as much fun as possible” which sounds good to me! However, he is asking to “play” on our first meet which includes JUST drinks. I told him I don’t normally “play” on the first meet, especially if its just to a local brewery. He said that’s cool, hes looking for someone he can hang out with AND have really good sex. Ok, that gives off that he wants MORE than just sex but everything he has said to me indicates he is PURELY about the “play”.

I was having an awful morning and after confirming plans to meet tomorrow, he followed up with “And then we can play?” sdfjhafhhjasgdfjhdsf This was not the morning to annoy me and I should have NOT responded but I couldn’t help it. I probably killed my chance with him but to be honest, kinda not even mad. I have a strong sexual appetite too but I know how to respect what a person says and their boundaries. My snarky response came off way more harsh than I intended :

Didn’t we go over this? Hahaha. I know you’re a bit brighter than that email lets on πŸ˜›

WOOPS! He didn’t respond, unsurprisingly. But seriously, come the fuck on. Maybe I am being too uptight but if I want to fuck a guy after he only buys me a drink, I can go to a local bar and pick up a much newer model. I’m just sayin.

I also apparently spoke China into existence by mentioning him in my last post. He sent my phone in to a tizzy this morning with Line chats and I could not have been more displeased. He is so uninteresting via chat, its a drag. I imagine someone who travels so often, knows multiple languages, and manages two very successful companies should be able to talk about something. ANYTHING. Boy oh boy. It’s almost June and I am wondering if I really want him to fly out here for our date. Hum.

Get outta here.

How dare Houston have the nerve to look at my profile. Fuck you and the horse you road in on, you scaredycat fuckface.

I am so annoyed by guys viewing my profile over and over again when they fell off the face of the earth mid message. One is a diamond SD who has a body from the heavens. He responded once but never again. I’m guessing because hes Diamond, he gets a ton of messages. At least I got a response which I thought was going to continue conversation by how he talked! Oh well. But to continue looking at my profile every other day? Cmon now, get outta here.

In other news, Karate Kid has emailed me every day since our coffee date which is a super good sign. If he is too busy, he emails me right before bed just to see how my day was and to tell me about his. I like him, I really hope we continue on because I could see him as being my main SD. We shall see after dinner this weekend, I am pushing for a pricey Asian steak house because I have never been there and would LOVELOVELOVE to go on someone elses dime πŸ˜‰

Outside of sugar, Sir Bod A Lot ( he went from B to Sir Bod A Lot. How did that happen? No idea but lets roll with it.) is causing quite a stir. He is not even a year out of a six year relationship but is completely enamored with my existence. This is a little worrisome because to be honest, it is pretty mutual. He doesn’t know it but we are going to have a discussion tonight at dinner about expectations, exclusivity, etc. I am not going to allow exclusivity at this point because (A) I am not far removed from a shitty relationship myselfΒ  (B) I am afraid he is rebounding despite his claims to the opposite, and (C) My sugar mission is not over yet.

I also have not heard from China in awhile, I think he got tired of trying to plan skype dates and it wasn’t happening. I am kind of over the idea of him at this point and will probably let that one die out on its own.

So, in closing, fuck Houston. Fuck diamond SD who oogles me awkwardly from across the room but won’t say anything. Fuck cupcakes for being so good. Oh and finally fuck that 26 year old SD for not getting back to me after he asked for me email! Curses.

“I love that tight body…”

Of course, I receive this in an email from a POT SD as I am shoving cookie dough in my face. Lets just say it was serious motivation to put the shit down.

Now that we have got my fat assery out of the way, news on a new SD woohoo! We interrupt this broadcast for a special announcement etcetcetc.

So, the POT I had coffee with has entered full on nickname status. He shall hence force be known as..Karate Kid. YUP.

Our coffee date was great, I arrived in my go-to short spring dress that shows enough leg to realize I take care of my self but not enough to think I am easy. My roomie insist my ass was about to fall out of it but he is a prude so nyah. We met at a Panera next to my gym, with my thought process as I explained it to my co-worker, “NO ONE goes there. Half of the town doesn’t even know it exists.” and yup. I was correct. The place was dead and we were able to enjoy our coffee outside on the patio without any interruption or weirdo listeners. The conversation was shockingly light, discussing horror stories of online dating, MMA fighting training, our jobs, and his wife. Yeah, I know, I broke the rules, but he was a very open person and I knew he would not shy away from the topic of the pretty little band on his hand. I prefaced the question with “So..since you’re local, I need to know if I should position myself to be facing the doors at all times incase a very angry woman walks in and I am able to try a quick get away..well, as fast as my 6 inch heels will allow.” which he found funny enough to actually answer the question. His wife knows he does things OUTSIDE of the marriage to keep it stabalized but is not sure on the specifics and will never know. He asked if it was a problem and seemed generally concerned as a few SBs have bailed because of the ring. LOL BITCH U DUM. Married SDs are the bees knees, I’ve decided. Single ones are always so flakey and lack structure. No thank you.

Either way, the date with Karate Kid went great and before the night was even over, I received an email asking when he could see me again. At that point in the evening, I was doing shots with some co-workers, so I shot off a quick reply for anytime hes free. My phone goes off again to my surprise and hes asking me what I want to do. He is aware of my cupcake obsession (What? It’s a good conversation starter and you can tell a lot by someones eating habits) and gave me the pet name of “cupcake head” once or twice in an email. Cute. That means he finds me endearing enough to give me a pet name. Score. Our next meet is planned sometime at the end of this week and per my request, it should include wine. I figure wine will unwind us enough to actually talk about details of the arrangement. He asked my living situation so I assume he would like to come to my appartment but that is not going to happen. I live with a male co-worker who already gave me shit this a.m. for not covering the condom wrapper up in the bathroom trashcan. Ooooooops. It was kind of the last thing on my mind after my romp with Sir Bod-a-lot πŸ™‚

Did I mention the confidence sugar has given me outside of the bowl? I am now talking with more men than I can shake a stick at, all but one with very good careers or very close to achieving that career. Woohoo. Still not giving up dat sugsug though. I think I’ll spend today at work sending off a few more messages on SA, see if anyone new has signed up. I still want ONE far away SD just so I can fly and see a new town, Houston was such a god damn let down. The one local pathologist who messages me EVERY DAY with his phone number is wearing me down and I just might give him a chance. I mean, we could talk tumor markers and tumor grading. That would make my life.

Either way, stay sweet ❀ Oh, and new local reader, I would love to hear from you, don’t be scared! I loves you! πŸ˜‰

“Send me your measurements. I want to buy you something special to wear…”

Oh boy oh boy. Just when I thought I was slowly falling out of love with the sugar bowl, I get sucked right back in.

But FIRST, what has been distracting me from sugar?! Why, nothing short of the most amazing body attached to a stellar personality. I have pushed my hands so hard against this mans body I am surprised he does not have bruises. His pecs, his whole core, his adonis lines….good lord. This man is just…god. I would touch his biceps all day. If you haven’t noticed, I am kind of obsessed with a good physique and there is reason : I spend my day doing 3 things, mostly. 1) Working 2) Going to the gym 3) Playing video games/playing in the sugar bowl. So if hes not involved with #1, you can bet I get all hot and bothered by someone who is very big about #2. Mmmmmmmmmmmm this mans body gfjkdfhgjshdfjghsdf. Curse my birth control space time continuum bringing forth the dreaded 7 days of hell. I just want to pounce on this man :(!!! I have been questioning if I should stop now and invest more time/thought in to him or continue on as a happy medium until he unknowingly forces me to give up sugar. Oh, he will never know by the way. Nope nope nope.

Ok, now that’s out of the way, lets talk about a POT I am meeting either tomorrow or friday. He is a married man (yay! I know this makes me sound horrible but they’re so much less fucking trouble.) in his late 30s who works in tech. Seeing a trend with me and tech guys? What can I say, the nerdy talk gets to me. 50 53><Y

Anyway, while I am waiting for an email response back from him, I get an email from my once a monther SD. Magic, magic, magic! I have been on the fence about asking him for some extra allowance since we do pay per visit and his visit has been HUGELY delayed but I decided to bide my time a little longer and boy is it paying off. After weeks of infrequent emails with dances around a specific date, I get this little gem :

“What does next Tuesday and Wednesday look like for you? I am trying to push this work meeting up, I am craving you so bad right now…”

YAY! I had a feeling I left an impression that he would NEED to see me again and it looks like I was correct πŸ˜‰ Not only that, he wants to bring me a little treat?

“That’s right.Β  Send me your measurements.Β  I want to buy you something special to wear…”

YUP. ITS ON. Now, to just find a measuring tape because to be frank, I have not fooled with one of those in awhile. We have one at work so it will be an INTERESTING day tomorrow, trying to sneak around and get them in during the work day. Hahaha. Fun.