Seriously? Right now? After ~9 months of being out of a relationship, now I find someone TOTALLY RANDOMLY who thinks I am fuckwin awesome AND who I want to bone? You see, these two things very rarely intersect. I feel bad for men that like me because yeah its really sweet they think I am awesome but truthfully, I am not nearly as awesome as they think. This in turn somehow becomes the biggest turn off known to man and I can never see them in any other light for the rest of my days.
Unless we get drunk alone. Then I’ll probably sleep with them after realizing its been x amount of days since I have had sex.
Either way, had a great date with my elementary school crush today who just moved back in to town. Remember when I mentioned I lived in a small town? I wasn’t joking.
We saw Spider Man 2 (ok, not as good as the first) and then sat outside and talked for an hour and a half. Sounds pretty basic right? Well, it wasn’t. I’ve been so caught up in all of the sugar rules that when I hung out with him and changed my mind set, I realized just HOW different the relationships are maintained and approached. Very very interesting. I ate popcorn, I drank soda, I got a foot cramp and had a mini panic attack in the movies when it moved up to my calf muscle, I cried during the sad parts of the movie, I laughed when my date jumped (lolwut), and then I even expressed how badly I don’t want kids. All of these events were laced with my typical F bombs too, it was glorious!
However, I caught myself thinking about my POTs and the possibilities of what this could do. I keep saying if I meet someone outside of Sugar that I really enjoy, I’ll stop it. It doesn’t seem that hard. Then I think back to the guy I was recently kind-of-seeing and how his sudden “I met someone else, it was random. Nothing against you but I want to see where this goes.” did not even phase me. It did a little and then I instantly thought “Well, sucks for you. If only you knew how much men spend to even be with me for a dinner date. You were gettin all that and more for FREE mother fucker!”
Holy crap. What. Who thinks that. Oh god. What?