Nerves!

Oh boy, I’m so excited but so nervous. Boston has set up a fun weekend for us and I cannot wait to finally touch down and see him, I’ll be so much more relieved when I am there next to him in the flesh.

I got my waxing done, my nails painted, and my hair cut today after work. Tomorrow, my co-worker will bring me in to work with her and tomorrow afternoon, my original sugar encourager will drive me to the airport to drop me off! I am so excited and nervous ahhh!

Everythings packed and of course, for a 2 and a half day stay, I have multiple dresses, shoes, and outfits packed. I literally have enough dresses to last me a week but I seriously have no idea what I’ll want to wear until I get there. Oh boy oh boy.

In other news, I ended up sleeping with Sir Bod A lot against my better judgement but boy am I glad I did. His departure hit me harder than expected but his re-entrance (hahahaha…) was a lot more easy and clarifying than I ever expected. We had sex, then I got dressed to go to the gym. No hanging out. No asking about his day. No making plans for next time. Wham bam thank you maam. Essentially pushing him out the door made me realize I do NOT want to date him, I am finally old enough and in a position where I can CHOOSE if I want an addict in my life ( hes a year clean, I don’t see him ever going back to it. I know a relapser when I see one. ) and I CHOOSE not to. I grew up with an alcoholic mother and currently have an alcoholic Brother who isn’t even invited to our Fathers wedding due to his drinking. I love my Brother to death despite all of this but do I want another addict in my life, willingly? No. No. No! It’s comfortable for me because that is what I see as NORMAL but God it is so not. I’ll keep him as a fuck buddy because good lord is his body so fucking amazing but beyond that? Nothing. I’m no longer upset about us not being more because I truly know now I DO NOT want more. Three cheers for me!

I am seeing Karate Kid on tuesday, hopefully we can discuss details of our arrangement over dinner. Then next weekend, hopefully I get to meet up with Camper. I really would love to spend a longer time period with him and get another sugar rush. With this weekend in Boston AND my two dates within the following week, I should be able to pay off my semester as well as all of my medical debt. IUD here I come!!

Heres hoping I don’t get murdered! If I do, may justice get him and my friends not think less of me when this lifestyle comes to life :p

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