As I was driving to school the other day, instead of rehearsing info for the test I was about to take, I was thinking about the sugar bowl.
Outside of the sugar bowl, I find cheating to be one of the worst things you can do to a person. Having been cheated on once, it utterly destroyed me for quite a bit and threw me in to a mentality I didn’t know I had, which has subsequently continued and is probably a huge factor for my openness to sugar. Inside the sugar bowl though? Its so non-factor. It doesn’t even phase me. The general thoughts of “ohhh this guy is such an asshole” or “what a fuckface!” never even cross my mind. I think its a good and bad thing, personally. On one hand, I am able to separate reality from sugar but on the other hand, I wonder if this will have subconscious lasting effects on my ability to trust men? It will be interesting to see how I transition back to life outside of the sugar bowl when I am done.
Another random thought : I was fuming when I saw the title of a news article list that girl who killed the google exec as a “high priced call girl”. Later in the article, they linked the two to meeting on SA, making my friends eyeballs fall out of her head when she came to read over my shoulder when I said out loud “Holy shit!”. To her its a clear reason why I should not do it, to me its a clear reason as to why I am so selective and will continue to be careful. The fact they associated this woman as a call girl, and later listed the agreement as $1200 for sex…ugh. We are not whores, we are not escorts, we are not call girls. I can see some parallels but honestly? Cmon.
So, onward with the China update. If you remember, China is one of the first SDs I spoke with but right after contacting each other, he had to go to China on business for an extended period. We made plans to meet in June however he ended up staying longer. I figured it was a lost cause as I got a little too busy/too annoyed to deal with his constant LINE chats and request for phone calls. Either way, he is back and still VERY interested. We are planning to meet for dinner in Baltimore on July 25th, though I assured him I work that day and as such, it will probably have to be a late dinner. I am a tad bit nervous about this one since he is very clear with his expectations ( Flashback : Only wear skirts/dresses,no perfume,do not shave the cookie jar….odd…) which I have no trouble meeting but for some reason I am getting jittery. Very odd. I really hope it works out but I fear he will want exclusivity. He mentioned “We can’t tell people how we met, obviously.” and I’m thinking in my head “Who are we going to be talking to in Baltimore?” Haha. Either way, heres to it possibly working! I can see him being VERY generous.
That guy who messaged me from SA who kept pushing to meet him that night/the next day without sending pictures has hopefully sent me the last of “Why are you fake?””Why didn’t you meet me?””Are you a cop?” messages, via text and SA. Fingers crossed.
This weekend I’ll be traveling to CT to see three of my friends in the area. I can’t wait! Its going to be about a 4-5hr drive but I think my lil car can make it. Oils changed, fluids topped off, belts tightened…I think I got this! First extended drive by my lonesome 🙂
I’m very much ready for this semester to be over. It is taking up all of my time, interrupting my training at the gym, and causing me to stress way more than anticipated. Why oh why did I start in the summer?!!?! Oh well, its almost over and then I can jump my classmates bones, as I have planned from the first second I sat next to him in class 🙂 With Sir Bod A Lot out of the way, for good after his most recent bout of fuckery, I can explore other casual sex options. Yeaaaaaaah.
Guess I better get back to work, quite a few doctors here today! Womp womp wooooomp.